A few weeks ago, my best friend Lizzy and I were talking about how lucky we are to have found each other and how hard it is to find a good friend, especially now that we have kids. So when she texted me this image today, I laughed out loud:
Looking back, I have always been the type of person who prefers to have a few close friends over many. In elementary school it was Hillary. We started out as enemies when we both moved to a little town in the Colorado mountains in second grade, but after our mothers forced us to have a play date one Saturday we were inseparable for the next ten years. Naturally, our friendship evolved over time. Dollhouse family dinner parties and model horse play in the younger years turned into publishing “The Earth Times” magazine and joining 4-H in late elementary school. Middle school revolved around horses, livestock, and downhill skiing. Then in high school some of those things gave way to speech and drama in the theater program. We went to different universities, but they were just an hour apart and we stayed close all through our time in college. After graduation we both ended up in Seattle for different reasons, so our friendship endured. When Hillary finished law school and moved back to Colorado, though, was when we started to drift apart. Our lives had finally taken separate roads, and now we catch up just once or twice a year.
I met Jessica when we were both RA’s at the University of Denver. We bonded over being the type of RA’s who did it for the free room and board, not because we loved being RA’s. Our friendship deepened because of our shared faith, love for traveling, and passion for working with children. We have lived in different states for longer than we lived close together, but the distance doesn’t seem to be as big of a divide in our relationship as the busyness of our different lives. I know that I can call her at any time and we will pick up like it hasn’t been two or three months since we last talked, but I miss the near-daily communication that made us super close before I had kids and she started her private practice.
Luckily for me, I found Lizzy. We were first year teachers together, both new to Seattle. Even though it took half the year before we hung out for the first time, once we did it was obvious we were kindred spirits. Our personalities are completely opposite, but we had very similar childhoods and enjoy similar hobbies. We’ve gone through most of the milestones of adulthood together: newlywed/getting married, buying homes, having kids. To make it even more perfect, our husbands have become close friends, too, and our kids are all just a year or two apart. I foresee our families growing together for many years to come.
Over the years I have called all three of these women by the term “best friend.” My friendships with them weren’t isolated from the others, but each of them holds a different place in my life and my heart. I don’t foresee myself ever having twelve close friends at a time. For me, just a few is all I need.